Late Tuesday Night

Did I miss it.. did I take it back from the very hands that I put it in?

Shamelessly I turn my heart inside out.. right before Your loving eyes. There is no secreat here. No cover up, nor denial do I dare? It's not judgment or a condemning stare that I feel, as Your eyes open wide. Only a love with arms that can pull all of me close.. for you know, Father what Your precious little one needs most. At Your warmth, the tears begin to roll. Oh you know, you know.. the distress, my unsettled heart, You knew, You knew!!

It is not too much for You, it never was. I wont believe the lie that told me so. There is a place for me in Your heart. From the depth of me I sing as a lullby to a sweet child.

I belong where You are.. I belong where you are, Lord.

Goose, Rooster, KiKi, and Jennay

I’ve heard a lot about the inner-city being a dark and violent place- I disagree. There is a brighter side. There’s got to be! I experienced it first hand. I had a Blast last Monday at the life center. I’m not sure if a huge “difference” was made but I did have a good time with a few young girls that came to the Bible study. Before the message, we played cards, all kinds of patty cake, and gave each other funny nicknames. So much love was given away that night. I know those girls felt it. He used me as a tool to deliver it on a sliver platter. I am honored. There is no place I’d rather be on a Monday night.

Who really knows best?

Woah! What a question.. Is it me? The old lady next door? The Ulmighty Creator??


This question brought though a bold faced, old fashion, conviction filling, confrontation, came about in the most uncanny of ways. Regreatably, I see such farse esteem in even myself. Who am I to assume anything? Who's to say that my idea of "what needs to happen" isn't a bucket of prideful,uneducated, nieve, grule. I refuse to be so full of myself. I'm doomed for failure as long as I think in terms of 'I know best.' I am on a mission to learn from these nino's. For now, I'll just help where I can. I don't know best. I never have.. I know someone who does, though- it's time I asked Him what's the best next step.

More than the watchmen wait for morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning.

On a walk that I had a few days ago, the phrase: ‘more than watchman wait for the morning, more than watchman wait for the morning ran again and again through my head. Then, in a moment of revelation I understood that the watchman isn’t hopping that the morning will come. The morning is on it’s way.

This phrase "more than watchman wait for the morning," is from one of my favorite books. I guess you could even stretch to say that it describes the place that I stand right now. Waiting for the morning. Countless others stand here with me- All waiting for different things. Still, all the same, waiting. A night shift worker knows this very well that the question will never be: Will the morning make it? Rather, Will I make it to the morning?

Have you ever wanted and waited for something
more than 'watchman wait for the morning?

Working the nightshift, at a group home, I know all about the ‘watchmen’ waiting for the morning. I know the longing for the morning that sets in. Particularly close to 4am, when one of the littlest boys gets up to play a round or three of ‘catch me if you can.’ I know of the glaze that can cover your eyes where, in a very real way you wonder why in the world you still cling to a distant idea that seems so far off.

Either way, the morning is comming and I plan on seeing it's dawn.

An Open Door..

It’s 2:08am Saturday morning. After a few quiet moments, I can see the open door.. I guess the question is how wide is the door open?

I made a friend who seems to have a huge call on his life. He’s walking out his dreams right now- a big part of that being to encourage others an find open doors around the community. My friend is actually living out one of his biggest dreams- to help others live out theirs. Here’s the “door,” the Life Center… alive and kickin'-the heart of the city- or at least my heart! A chance has been set up for me to get plugged into an inner city community center on Monday evenings, through my friends foundation It's Chance or IC. I see the door and the large light behind it too! I’m going for it. Stand back... here I come!!

After attending last Monday at the Life Center, this idea of an open door became clearer. Plainly said, the door is not wide open yet, but cracked- which is fine, because there’s good fruit behind it. But Somehow, in my severely structured, lets get it done mind, my first thought revolves around how I could head a planning committee and get incredibly busy being, well.. busy. My friend shot that Bird down quick.. He’s right- the door is cracked.. there’s tons of light, big fruit on the other side but the entry way right now is.. small. See, I was all about squeezing my vague “know how” ideas, plans and misconceptions through that tiny crack but my friend wisely suggested that the team step back and ease in relationally. It’s silly to try and bust through with all that at this time.. maybe better to just put my big foot on the inside of the door and smile for a while… After all, my foot is probably big enough all on its own for now. 

Ten to Eight

After pouring all the "want tos," "it would be great tos" and "hope I cans" out to the Father from the most secret places of my heart, I got the idea to make the most of my time here on the night shift. I am not a night owl by any means, really, but I desperately desire to stand in the gap for the next generation- the generation of the fatherless, abused and neglected. As if I were a "night watchman," I choose to stand in the night.. for thoes who cannot.
With this blog in place, I hope to not only raise awareness of what seems to be an epidemic in today's world but to find others with some of the same heart and calling. All the while doing my best to watch over these world changers while they rest. So.. on Friday and Saturday nights, after the toes have been counted, the towels folded, and tattle sheets filed, I hope to share the vision and see if I can get any bites.

Your Comments are welcomed. Laughs appreciated. :) After all, I can't imagine anyone accidentally stumbling upon this page.. take a moment or two and step into my world.